When I turned 20, an older friend told me it was my time to explore. I had ten years to learn, grow, experiment, and push my limits. 

In a few months, I turn 30. In the last ten years, I’ve travelled the world, quit my job, dated all the wrong ones, cried my heart out, suffered many losses, and created a career as a writer — something I could’ve never imagined. 

 It’s easy to forget that most of these changes didn’t happen overnight. We rarely ever wake up one day and suddenly notice these wild, life-altering changes in ourselves. 

My 20s were a wild rollercoaster ride. Here are some ten life lessons I’ve learned:

1) Without rain, nothing grows

It’s inevitable to meet unexpected situations in life. Life rarely goes as planned. Even if you bring an umbrella, you’ll end up getting wet. So, dance in the rain. Embrace the storms of your life. 

Remember, rejection is redirection. Keep moving forward and creating new doors. Preach your success from mountain tops. Because with hard work, determination and passion, the sky is the limit. 

2) No one truly cares about you 

I spent my early 20s chasing the people who didn’t care about me and giving no time to those who loved me the most- my family. Why do we ignore the people who care about us and care about those who ignore us?

 Most people do not care about you. As harsh as it may sound, it’s the truth. I learned this after my dad passed away. It doesn’t have to be sad but liberating, so we too can stop obsessing about what other people think.

3) Be your hero

 Nobody is coming to save you. No one is coming to pay your bills, get you a better job, or fix your health. Wake up. Take responsibility for everything in your life. Be your hero. That’s where you start.

4) Do it alone. Do it broke. Do it tired. Do it scared. Just do it!

Six months ago, I quit my corporate job to pursue writing. The decision wasn’t an easy one. The only value that dreadful job provided me was financial comfort and safety. Now, I wake up excited and don’t dread Mondays. That, to me, is success. 

One day, we are all going to die. Life is too short to be working jobs we hate. While your legs are strong and your mind is clear, it’s never too late to follow your interests, curiosities, and passions.

Start a blog. Write a book. Share your voice with the world. Use your imagination to bring fresh and exciting things to the world. Do not leave it to others to choose your destiny. Make a plan, and work toward it. Take little steps every day, consistently. Never give up on your dreams, even if the whole world turns its back on you. 

5) You’re going to be lonely

When I look back at myself in my 20s, what I remember the most is being alone and lonely. Rarely, if ever, does anyone ask you, “how was your day?”

You are no longer coming home to home-cooked meals. I wasn’t even coming home to anyone. I remember the frequent nights I cried in my room alone, staring at the depressing brown wall wishing I wasn’t feeling the way I was.

 Those lonely cold nights taught me to be strong alone. It made me wise, mature and fearless. 

6) Most friendships don’t last

Most friendships don’t last forever. There will come a time when you’ll naturally drift away from all your friends. You grow and evolve. You’ve moved on with your life, and so have your friends. It’s not their fault or that they are bad people. It’s just life. 

7) You are going to feel lost

For the longest time, I had my whole life figured out. In the last six months after quitting my job, I travelled. I met people who inspired me. I spent time reading and learning new things. 

Of course, there were many days when I felt lost, not knowing what step to take next. But, not for a second did I regret having taken time off from my life in Canada to enhance my writing further. 

This time to do nothing was essential for the journey I am embarking on. Have I achieved all that I wanted to do by taking this gap? No. Not even close. 

None of this would have happened if I didn’t feel lost. We need to feel lost…to know there is a path to take…we learn in the dark..then bring in the light.

8) Travel alone

A few years ago, I wanted to go to Costa Rica. I asked all my friends. None of them could make it. So, I decided to go alone. I ended up staying in a beautiful villa deep inside a rainforest, sharing the space with other 20s-something travellers from Europe. It was so exciting to meet people from different cultures and live together under one roof. It was one of the best trips of my life. 

Book that flight. Explore your favourite city. Don’t deny yourself the most memorable life experiences, even if everyone else says no. 

9) Love yourself first

No one will love you if you don’t love yourself first. It’s healthy to spend time alone. Take yourself out on dates. Schedule some alone time as much as possible because that’s the only way to get to know yourself on a deeper level. 

Listen to happy/nostalgic songs, watch a funny film, make something, or take a walk. In other words, don’t wait for someone else to offer you the love you want and deserve. Start being intentional about how you love yourself. It makes all the difference.

10) Honor yourself

Listen to your mind, body and soul. Give it what it needs. Do the things that make your body feel good. Take your time moisturizing your skin every morning. Run. 30 mins a day. Stretch it out. Meditate. Here’s an app for meditation that’s been a game changer for me. 

How old are you now? What life lessons have you learnt in your 20s? What advice would you give to your younger self? I’d love to hear in the comments below. 

xx

Yachna