A few weeks ago, My uncle, who rarely ever got sick, was taken suddenly taken to the hospital over a bit of discomfort that the doctors assured was a non-issue. He woke up every day since doing better, maybe feeling a little sluggish but nothing out of the ordinary. And within days, he was tested positive for the coronavirus, and weeks later, like hundreds of others- has died.

“Hey, Are you ok?” my friend reached out to me one afternoon after hearing the news of my uncle passing away. I’ve cried more in the past two weeks more than I’ve in the past three years. No, I wasn’t ok. The crippling wave of sadness and grief took over my family and continues to reside there. Having lost my father to cancer a few years ago, the news of my uncle tragically passing away at such a young age brought me to my breaking point. Another piece of my childhood just vanished into thin air. No final good-byes. No parting words to comfort me. Only deafening silence.

I felt over-powered by the all-consuming and heartbreaking sadness as I sat in the puddle of my tears unconsolable. I didn’t see a point in talking about this with anyone. I chose to withdraw from everyone. My decision to withdraw from everyone was to avoid those empty ‘you ok?’ Or ‘so sad’ comments. I found it hard to cope with this loss and didn’t have the strength to deal with anyone. The hardest part of losing some you love – is that you still have to get up the next day and ‘live.’

If you know a friend or family member who is struggling with losing a loved one, please be patient with them. Show them kindness and acknowledge their pain. They don’t want to feel good or laugh. They want to mourn and grieve the unbearable loss. Sit with them, be kind, and hold their hand while they slowly make their way out of the dreadful darkness. “Are you Ok?” can be the most thoughtful words you can offer to someone during this time.

After three years of losing my dad, I can honestly say that the pain doesn’t go away completely. It subsides. It fades. And, with a bit of help and time, we will all be ok.

Sending lots of hugs to anyone that needs it!

xx

Yachna

(Featured Image by Pamsteenwijk).