How To Maintain Friendships As An Adult

Last weekend, I attended my cousin’s baby shower, and it was absolutely fantastic!

I couldn’t wait to reunite with friends I hadn’t seen in over two years. So much had happened during that time—marriages, new babies, and engagements—there was just so much catching up to do.

Maintaining meaningful friendships can be challenging as we age. Meeting all my friends after so long made me nostalgic for those carefree days when we spent our days doing nothing together.

When I got home that night, I realized that adulting and responsibilities had replaced our spontaneous hangouts and carefree last-minute trips. I felt sad to see how much time and changed and with it the dynamic of relationships.

But no matter how busy we are, we must make time for healthy and meaningful connections to nourish our souls. Tight-knit connections are what make life worth living.

Although adult friendships are hard, it isn’t impossible with effort, thought, and intention. Here are some ways to make it work-

1) Keep in touch frequently. I understand how hard it can be to reach out, living in our capitalist society that demands our productivity around the clock. I usually text or call someone when I am thinking of them. A simple ‘Thinking of you, hope all is well’ goes a long way. Staying curious about their lives will make maintaining friendships easier. Another fun way to keep in touch is to have an active group chat to share opinions on various topics and memes.

2) Take the time to plan an in-person get-together. If you’re not a fan of phone conversations like me, setting a date to hang out in person can be a great way to keep in touch. Planning out the specifics of your get-together gives you both something exciting to anticipate and more reasons to stay connected.

3) Focus on quality over quantity. Even though you may not be able to speak or see each other as often as you’d like, make it a point to dedicate the time you do have together to creating new memories together.

4) Reciprocate the efforts. Nobody likes a one-sided friendship. Remember that everyone has responsibilities. Don’t let one person be the only one trying to maintain the connection.

5) Celebrate the milestones, remember the small things, and be available for the hard times. Surprise your friend on her birthday. Make an effort to be present for milestones such as weddings, graduations, baby showers, or any celebration. After all, it is said that the best friendships stand the test of time and the ups and downs of life.

6) Be honest. Ditch the silent treatment. Be open and honest in your communication. Don’t let petty misunderstandings get the best of your relationship. Create a safe space in your friendship to have difficult conversations openly and honestly without ruining the relationship dynamic.

7) Have patience, and be there for them. The different life stages my friends and I are going through are pretty incredible. Some are embracing parenthood, some are jet-setting for work, and others are hustling to make their startup dreams a reality. It’s like we’re living parallel lives, but when we catch up, it’s like no time has passed.

We understand and respect each other’s unique paths, which makes our bond even stronger. I understand that my friend with a newborn might not have time for long catch-up chats, and that’s okay. We adjust to our new role and support each other through the changes.

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Lastly, I wanted to share my all-time favourite video from Winnie the Pooh, which always brings tears to my eyes. It beautifully captures the sentiment of realizing that growing up often means having less time to simply relax and enjoy moments with our loved ones. It’s a reminder that these small, seemingly insignificant moments actually take up the most space in our hearts.