When I was a child, I was asked a question that I never forgot, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”. Without giving any real thought to it, I readily replied, ‘Papa.’
More than a decade later, I often think about my answer. And, as I grow older, I get clarity on my answer.
Papa was not like anybody I knew. He never once told us how to live. He lived and let us watch him do it. For instance, every year he would organize langar for a local village. Through that, I learnt that the best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.
He appeared very tough on the outside. Being very outspoken, he came off as intimidating to people that didn’t know him. On the inside, he was warm as a blanket. He had silly names for everyone. To be around him was to laugh out loud. To know him was to love him.
Even though my siblings and I were miles away in a boarding school. He rarely made a month without visiting us. Neither did he miss any school events, despite his motion sickness and the long drive to the mountains.
From late-night ice-creams to long road trips, watching comedies together and laughing our hearts out, I look fondly upon the best moments of my life.
He was a child at heart. Like, a kid in the candy store. I think it was because he was robbed of his childhood. He was only 13 when his father passed away by murder. Although we never used that word to describe it. A few years later, his mother suddenly passed away. So, he had been through much tragedy in his life.
Following his parents’ death, he took many responsibilities very early on in his life. Life wasn’t easy on him. Rarely ever complaining about it.
Growing up, I never saw him cry. Until one day, when I was leaving for the airport to Canada. He hugged me so tight and cried. That was our last hug.
A few months later, on the phone, mom was nervous to tell me the news: “Dad’s tumour has returned,” she said. “You all need to come to India asap.”
That was the beginning of an end.
The undefeated man I always knew was no longer there. The tumour had taken over him. Looking at the man in the wheelchair, I understood that papa was gone. Furthermore, he had lost the ability to speak and eat. Watching him go through that, shattered me, daily.
Regardless, I would sit beside his wheelchair every day and talk to him. I would fill him in with daily happenings. He listened quietly.
Looking at his eyes, during those days, I could see the pain in them. His eyes said that his mouth no longer could. The silence was deafening.
Precisely 22 days later-on September 05, 2017, he passed away. That day, a part of my heart died with him. Looking back, I wish I had captured all our moments in a lot of pictures and videos. For now, I am thankful that you were my father. I would pick you over and over again.
Miss you, papa.
Happy Father’s Day. I love you.
P.S.
Here’s to all the amazing fathers and father figures. You complete us. We are indebted to you. Today. Tomorrow. Always.
xx
Yachna
There is nobody like uncle. I don’t like using past tense for people I love. He is always with us. I precisely remember all our times with him. He is a man like no other and my parents vouch for him.
He definitely touched so many lives!!
Thank you so much Palak. He loved you a lot!! And respected your parents a lot.xoxo
This is absolutely breathtaking. So in tears😭😭❤❤ he was a great man and I have seen him be so proud of you all those years. Seeing what you have achieved here today is pride over his face all over again. I am grateful to have known him. Miss him with you. Love you yaki❤
Sofinaaaaa!!! Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and for the lovely comment. It truly means a lot to me.
Absolutely. It was an honor to read this and he definitely made an impact on everyone he met.
You penned your thoughts beautifully.
Yachna, that was beautiful. I know how much you loved your father, and I can see he continues to live on through you. Even though I’ve only met your father a few times, he always made sure I felt right at home each and every time, and theres not a lot of people like that left in the world! ♥️♥️
Thank you so much Magda!! This means a lot. Much love xoxo
Im in tears 😢 he was my favourite person. im sure hes very proud of u. I rembr all the good times and i rembr going to langer with uncle. He always n always talked about helping others n has always been there for everyone in their tough times. This is beautifully written yachu. I miss the times when he would make fun of u n i would laugh with him. Miss him ❤️
I wish he was here to read this. He loved you too. Thank you for the heartfelt comment.
🖤🖤i regret not reading this day you posted.
Better late than never. 🙂
Absolutely he was great personality,I have no words beyond.it is proud for you,he was your father.♥️♥️
This is so touching Yachna. He would be so proud of how far you have come and all that you are achieving. Congratulations on your Blog. It was a very heart felt read. Xx
Yachna! I read all your blogs! This is the only one I didn’t have the courage to read, it has left me in tears! I have such clear memories of uncle and his smile as soon as he would come to the hostel! Once, I saw him in GPO, by Vishal brothers shop, and he came over gave me a hug and asked me how I was doing. He would’ve been the proudest to see how far you’ve come and all the places you’ll go♥️