Seriously though, the past few weeks have been intense! Pleasure is the last thing I have time for or can even think about when there are so many other things to be navigating right now. Or so my inner voice always says.

 I find myself craving a deeper and meaningful experience in times like these, which is a cry for help for more intimacy that can easily slip our minds. It wasn’t until I attended a self-pleasure workshop lead by Simone Farschi, a sex coach who helped me bring new awareness to connect with my body on a deeper level through pleasure mapping. 

What is Pleasure Mapping?

Pleasure mapping is a practice, much like yoga or meditation, to better explore your body on a deeper level, authentic desires, expanding your ability to receive more pleasure. 

In simple words, it’s the practice of getting to know your body and how it responds to various touch, sensations, and potential emotional stories held in those areas. In pleasure mapping, we’re just noticing everything. Where do we feel resistance? What do we enjoy the most? How can we change up our routine to experience more pleasure? It’s an incredible way to practise slowing down and savouring the journey. 

You can practise this on yourself and can also explore it with a partner. When practising pleasure mapping, you’re encouraged to be more playful, have curiosity, as if you know nothing about yourself or your partner. Having an open mind allows opens up room for more pleasure. 

Follow along if you want to feel more pleasure in your sexual life, intimate life, personal life and your daily connection with the world with SIX simple steps – 

1) Listen to your body

“Your body is a vast landscape with much beauty and pleasure to be explored,” says Simone. Communicate with your body so you are entirely in alignment with your needs and desires. Create a conversation with yourself and ask your body, the most intimate parts, what they have to say. Allow the parts of you that often go unnoticed a space to be heard. 

 For instance, ask yourself, “how does your body feel when the touch is light or deep. Does this (touch) feel good or just blah?” suggests Simone. You’ll discover new ways of touch or old ones that just continuously hit the spot. After all, this is the time to awaken and be in your most divine feminine truth and sensual power. ⠀⠀⠀

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2) Bring attention and awareness to your body

Allow yourself the deep awareness to slow down, become curious, and explore your body from your best lover’s perspective.

Pleasure mapping is all about having a deeper connection with our bodies and awareness of what we like and what we don’t like and connecting with all of it on a more juicy level. Noticing your body, are there any kinds of aches or pains? We are not ever judging ourselves, just bringing all our awareness to our body gently. ⠀⠀

Use this time and space to awaken your senses so that you can fall into deeper satisfaction either with your partner or through self-pleasure. It gives you the awareness to notice the nuances that generally pass you by in life – allowing for greater presence, intention, relief, and connection. 

3) Take your time

Self-pleasure is something we do in secret by staying quiet, performing quickly, and taking as little space as possible. We rarely ever give ourselves the time to notice the small things about how we like to receive pleasure, how we want to receive intimacy when we are not with a partner. 

When we give ourselves the time for some self-pleasure, it’s usually very quick, and we have these patterns repeated since we started connecting with our bodies. Connects with your desires — giving your thoughts and emotions a voice while giving you space and time to receive with ease and grace. 

 So, set aside some alone time. If lighting candles, playing some relaxing music, putting on some sexy lingerie gets you in the mood, then do it. Make sure to turn off your phone, lock your door, and be present with yourself. 

4) Remember, there’s no finish line:

As a sex coach, Simone often advises against having any expectations or agenda when indulging in self-pleasure (this rings true for partnered sex as well). 

“There is a whole lot of sensation to experience before we get to the big O, such as waves of feelings, emotions, sensations, desires, and flows of pure ecstasy and anticipation before that, and frankly even after. It’s those little things, the build-up and then the sweet aftercare that makes most of the experience.” 

So, instead of worrying about whether you will come or won’t come, bring awareness to how incredible and fun touching yourself feels. 

5) Don’t go straight for the clit:

There’s a tendency for women to go straight for the clit when indulging in self-pleasure. One of the biggest takeaways from Simone’s Pleasure Mapping workshop was to break that habit. 

Simone wants you to take time to turn yourself on first by exploring other parts of your body that often go unnoticed. “Try light touch on the neck and forearms, pinch/squeeze your nipples, massage your inner thighs, gently rub your belly,” Simone says. “This will get the juices flowing and create room for more pleasure.”Doing this opens up the capacity for sensation.

6) Breathe:

Focusing on your breathing helps build a deeper connection with your body and calms down the nervous system. It brings your awareness back to the present and helps escape any distracting thoughts. Just concentrate on deep inhaling and exhaling, and your body will take care of the rest. 

Let’s take a breath together to access more pleasure in our lives.

xx

Yachna

(Information credits for this blog go to Simone Farschi, a sex and intimacy coach. For more information on all the sexy stuff, you can become a part of her community Pleasure Plus).

(Image Credits: Pleasure Plus)

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