Why is sexual violence a huge issue in India?

“My daughter was lying naked with her tongue bitten and protruding out, with heavy bleeding from her eyes and vagina. Her eyes were bulging out, and she was bleeding from her mouth, neck, and blood near her eyes. I quickly covered her with the pallu of my saree and started screaming,” recalls Manisha Valmiki’s mother as per a report by Newslaundry.

As per the victim’s mother, the police did not listen to them and said, “Just take her from here. She’s being dramatic and lying here. Do you want to trap us?”

The gang-rape and murder of the 19-year-old from Hathras has shaken the entire nation’s consciousness sending shock waves across the country. The victim’s family remains inconsolable as they fight for justice. The police officials cremated the body without any of her family being present at the funeral—a life of humiliation.

Today, women across the country no longer feel safe. Stories like these stay in our collective consciousness for a long time and send shivers down our spine. Any form of sexual violence should never happen to anyone. Ever.

Other than the slow implementation of anti-rape laws, the other two cultural reasons for sexual violence in India, in my opinion, are these-

1) Lack Of Proper Sex Education:

Sexual violence in India is largely due to a lack of sex education.

Suppressing sex, tabooing is the primary cause of all the rapes that happen in India. It’s indisputable! People try to avoid and escape discussing and educating people about human sexuality, which is one of the many aspects of life. During biology classes, the chapters concerning the human reproductive system are either left out for the students to understand by themselves or taught in brief. The only “education” that a person gets is through porn. 

Sex education needs to involve learning about what coercion is, it needs to educate teens about privacy, genital care, sexualities and most importantly consent.

A boy, for example, won’t be educated on what menstruation is. This conversation gap creates an awkward environment where the sister keeps hiding her pain and sanitary napkins from her brother. 

If you are a girl, your cleavage is distracting, and it needs to be hidden/covered at all times. Almost every girl has experienced the ” change from your shorts/skirts into pants because we have guests coming over.”

The occurences of such conversations are so common in our society, it speaks lenghts about the mentality we are battling.

2) Rape is not about sex. It’s about power:

There have been many contradictions on the statement: “rape is not about sex but power.”

However, from the perspective of a rape victim, there is nothing sexual about the experience. The experience is one of being powerless, of forcibly giving in to the power of the perpetrator. It is the polar opposite of everything that we believe about sex. To describe it as a sexual experience is despicable, for lack of a stronger word.

But rape literature is written by victims, and by people who sympathize with victims. Conflating the horror of a victim’s experience of powerlessness with the possibility that anyone – even the perpetrator – might have viewed the incident as being in any way related to sex is offensive and, therefore, unacceptable.

There are numerous cases where the victims fail to report the crime. Have you thought of those girls who still didn’t get Justice? And those who get molested daily but still can’t push back due to fear? Just because of the hypocritical society, people won’t be concerned about your situation. Instead, they will start questioning your character and judge you as someone who provoked the guy to molest you.

 Even within a family, some people molest their cousins or nephew or a relative. In that situation, who do you go to complain? Will anyone trust her? Or will they question her character? There will be a simple answer to this: your mentality, teachings, and upbringing. 

Those who believe women as an object something to play with are the ones who do all these disgusting practices. Rape destroys families and communities. The trauma resulting from it haunts the victims for the rest of their lives.

The only way to get rid of such a situation is to empathize with the pain they are going through. Rape is a horrible thing and needs to end. The culture in India is hellbent on moral policing, their daughters that they forget to give their son sanskaar.

Lastly,

Celebrate sex; it’s beautiful to give and receive pleasure. Parents speak to your children about sex when the time’s right. Do not avoid the topic because it’s uncomfortable for you. That’s brutal and selfish. Men respect a woman; she’s the greatest gift bestowed on humanity. 

xx

Yachna

P.S.

Have a beautiful weekend.

(Featured image by TikiWen).