Dating Stuff I’ve Learned…

1. Don’t force it

You know what they say: You can’t force a spark with someone. But that doesn’t mean you should give up after just one try! Sometimes, it takes a little time and effort to get to know someone and develop a genuine connection.

Those first few dates and conversations can be a great indicator of whether or not there’s something special there. Even after the first few dates, if the person is a maybe for you, then don’t settle for it and make it linger, even if the person seems like a perfect match on paper.

Trust me, you deserve to be with someone who makes you feel excited and truly happy, and the same goes for them!

2. Physical attraction is important

It’s perfectly natural not to be physically attracted to someone. It doesn’t make you shallow; it makes you human, and it just means that we all have our own preferences.

Now, is it possible that you will grow to find someone physically attractive over time? Absolutely, yes, especially if there’s a strong intellectual bond.

On the other hand, if you have to put in a lot of effort to find someone attractive initially, it might not be worth it. In my experience, attraction can work both ways, but it’s important to be true to yourself and follow your instincts.

3. They should be interested in you

So, here’s the thing, girl. If he’s taking hours or even days to reply to your texts, he’s not worth your time. Don’t make excuses for him, like his phone died or aliens abducted him or whatever.

If he doesn’t make an effort to see you, spend time with you, or give you the attention you deserve, then know this: he’s just not that into you. Don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t want to make an effort to keep you around. Just accept it and move on gracefully.

4. Clear communication is essential

Maybe you’re looking for something casual and fun, a chance to let loose and enjoy life without any serious commitments. But what if your date is hoping for something more long-term, even marriage?

Communicating your intentions early on is essential to avoid misunderstandings or heartbreak later. So get out there, have fun, and be honest about what you want in this connection!

5. Attachment/ Infatuation is not love

Let’s imagine you’re out with your girlfriends, and suddenly, bam! You meet this tall, handsome man with the most gorgeous eyes you’ve ever seen. You hit it off immediately and spend the night dancing and chatting. He says and does everything right, and you’re feeling over the moon because you’ve finally found the one.

But wait, sweetie – don’t let your excitement cloud your judgment. Keep your eyes open for anything he might not be saying. It’s totally cool to be excited. Make sure you’re taking things one step at a time.

6. Actions speak louder

Remember not to fall for his sweet talk that’ll give you diabetes.

Instead, pay attention to his actions. Be a good observer and focus on what he does, not what he says. It’s good to be understanding and empathetic, but don’t make excuses for someone’s bad behaviour. Their past trauma or sad childhood is no excuse for treating you poorly.

Those red flags you’re ignoring at the beginning could be the reason for your break up in the end. Keep your eyes open and stay true to yourself!

7. There needs to be a friendship

Imagine having a friend who is not just amazing but also someone you could fall in love with.

Take a moment to reflect on their qualities and whether they align with what you look for in a friend. Can you see yourself hanging out with this person as a friend? Do they have qualities that you appreciate in a friend?

I believe that a friends-to-lover relationship is one of the most fulfilling connections one can experience. Don’t you agree?

8. Be honest with yourself

Be honest with yourself about your wants and needs. Don’t let others—and by others, I mean society—decide what you should or shouldn’t like.

It’s okay to be an independent, self-reliant woman who loves it when a man pays on the first date. Yes, we know you can open your own door, but do you like/prefer it when a date does this for you?

So, embrace your needs, express them with confidence, and don’t be afraid to be your authentic self.

9. Don’t compare them to your past

It’s not fair to bring your past emotional baggage into your present relationships. Don’t keep comparing your past relationship struggles to your current situation.

We all have dating traumas, but punishing the new person for something they didn’t do is unfair. Go into a new situation with an open mind and a blank slate.

10. It’s not going to last, and that’s okay

You need to accept that most people’s time in your life will be temporary and still enjoy and appreciate the time you have together anyway.

I stopped looking at failed relationships as a waste of time and switched my brain to be grateful for experiencing someone keeping space for me in their heart.

11. Don’t fall for a person’s potential

This one’s going to hurt to read, but I have to say it anyway: pay attention to who they are now, not what they were like when you first met or get hung up on hopes of the version you have of them in your head. Accept that who they are now is who they are now.

Look at how they treat you and talk to you. If they did that on the first date, would you agree to a second date? If not, don’t agree to keep seeing them.

Investing your time, effort, and energy into a relationship with someone who treats you like they don’t care about you will not eventually pay off.

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