How to Own Your Shit

 

 

Recently, I stumbled upon an infuriating video essay by one of my favourite creators, Final Girl Studios. In her video,  “Stealing Girlhood: The Legacy of Women’s Work Being Stolen,” the creator delves into how Sam Levinson appropriated artist and photographer Petra Collins’s unique vision without giving her ANY credit. It’s a thought-provoking video that explores the aggravating history of men stealing women’s work.

 

This video got me reflecting on my conversation with my friend about men and intelligence and how little women have contributed to arts, literature, finance, and music compared to men. He said, “There has never been a female Mozart.”

 

Later, I found out that there had been one—his sister, who, get this, inspired Mozart. She was a prolific musician who made a name for herself across Europe as a child prodigy. Tragically, since she was a woman, she was sidelined and forced to get married instead of pursuing her love for music.

 

This is exactly the kind of narrative that infuriates me. Growing up in a traditional brown family, it was ingrained in my mind that the ultimate goal for a woman is to marry a rich man to secure her future. But let me be very clear: a man is NOT a plan.

 

The consequences of this limited mindset are clearly visible in the lives of many of my aunts and cousins. Many of my aunts and cousins are stuck in unhappy marriages, lacking financial independence and unable to escape the hell of their making. When I speak with married women in my family, ALL of them have repeatedly urged women to be actively involved with their finances.

 

My mother often shared how she had no authority or ownership over her money. My father had the last word if someone needed to borrow money from my parents. This relationship dynamic extended beyond finances- he held authority over household matters, parenting, and relationship matters.

 

When I asked her why she accepted this, she simply replied, “That’s just how things were. It’s better this way than to stir up problems.”

 

While I can’t blame her or any woman, it highlights a painful truth: misogyny is not inherent. We, as women, are taught to view ourselves as lesser than men, and that’s not your fault. It does not mean you have failed in any way if threads of patriarchy were woven into the fabric of who you are.

 

Even today, women are consistently left behind financially. Personal finance advice directed at women focuses on budgeting, cutting spending, and saving — in contrast, advice to men encourages earning more, investing, and growing financial literacy. But did you know that it’s actually riskier to just save and not invest?

 

Ladies, let’s be real for a second. Women couldn’t get credit cards on their own until 1974. The Equal Pay Act, which prohibits wage discrimination based on gender, is only 57 years old. We weren’t allowed to own property without a husband only until recently.

 

We weren’t just kept out of the game—we *were* the game. But guess what? That’s history. Today, we have the power to own more than just a house or a bank account. We can own our entire financial destiny. And if you’re ready to take control, this is how you do it. Let’s own our shit together.

 

  1. Meet the real you

The first step to owning your shit is to peel back the layers so you can meet the real you. Finance has been designed to feel exclusive, but that ends now. You don’t need a degree or to speak like a Wall Street banker to understand how money works.

This is all about being an active participant in your finances. Awareness is the first step to taking ownership. What’s coming in? What’s going out? What do you own? This is about being aware, not ashamed.

 

  1. You are never too old to learn new things

Keep learning and start from the basics. Understand what assets are—stocks, real estate, investments. These are the things that grow in value and build wealth.

Get familiar with the language. The world of finance and investing is still overwhelmingly male-dominant and discriminatory in not-so-subtle ways. You deserve to be in these conversations.

 

  1. Own your shit, literally

Savings are important, but saving alone doesn’t build wealth. You know what does? Ownership. When you own things—property, investments, businesses—you build the kind of wealth that gives you freedom and choices.

 

  1. Protect your wealth

Protect your money like you protect your energy. Women’s security gets stripped away, so this is about holding onto what we’ve worked for. Owning our shit isn’t just about building it—it’s about protecting it. Insurance, wills, estate planning—all those “boring” things people put off—are the things that ensure what’s yours stays yours. It’s another layer of empowerment, knowing that no one can mess with what we’ve built.

 

  1. Be greedy, be ambitious!

I want us to stop apologizing for wanting more. More money, more opportunities, more control. You can demand more from your career, investments, and life.

That means negotiating your salary, asking for that raise, or building your empire. Owning your shit means standing in your worth and refusing to settle. It’s time to stop playing small in a system that’s finally starting to recognize what we bring to the table. Know that you are worthy of all that you desire and more.

 

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Note: Thank you for tuning into this financial chat!  Afsha and I had the best time putting this post together for you. We hope it made your day a bit brighter (and wealthier!) 💰🌟❤️

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Thank you so much, Afsha! Do you have a money question? Let us know in the comments below…

 

 

 

Authors

  • yachnaa
  • Afsha Butt

    Afsha Butt is the visionary CEO and founder of WealthVerse. More than just a financial expert, she’s a guide who bridges the gap between money and mindset, helping clients understand the psychology behind their financial choices. With extensive experience in financial planning, wealth management, and breaking through generational wealth barriers, Afsha founded WealthVerse to help people move from financial stress to financial empowerment. Her mission? To make financial freedom not just accessible, but achievable—and maybe even a little fun.

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