Topics To Avoid On A First Date

Let’s talk first dates!

They can be pretty awkward. You’re going out with someone you’ve only met for 5 or 10 minutes, or maybe not at all. It’s always a challenge to break the ice with someone you barely know. Personally, I don’t believe in keeping any topic limits because I value respectful, honest, and upfront communication.

When I want to discuss a potentially sensitive subject, I usually break the ice by asking, “Are we even allowed to talk about X on the first date?” It’s funny to see how people react, and it often leads to some really interesting conversations.

Of course, some topics are better left for later dates. Here are five topics to avoid on a first date:

1. Your Trauma/Trauma Dumping

Don’t talk to your date about your laundry list of trauma, years of therapy, and mental illness. It’s a date, not a therapy session. I am a mental health advocate and have gone through my fair share of trauma in life, but this isn’t something to discuss on a first date. Your date didn’t sign up to help you process this.

2. Exes

First dates are all about having a good time and keeping things lighthearted, fun, and cheerful. It’s best not to bring up any exes. Please don’t talk about how you hate your ex because he ruined your life and left you with trauma. Lastly, avoid generalizing an entire gender based on a negative experience.

Once you’ve established a connection with someone, there will be plenty of time to discuss these topics. If someone likes you, they’ll be open and accepting when the time is right. But dropping this on a first date is a huge turn-off immediately.

3. Politics

Politics can be a touchy subject that sometimes leads to disagreements or hurt feelings. It’s usually a good idea to steer clear of political discussions on a first date unless you are open-minded and respectful of each other’s beliefs.

One of my friends shared, ‘I like to know where my date stands politically. I usually find out before agreeing to go out because I wouldn’t want to date a Republican. What do you think?

4. Religion

Religion is a sensitive topic for many people, and it’s best, especially if you are not tolerant of other people’s beliefs and religion, not to bring up this topic on a first date.

5. Money

My friend was excited about this date with a woman he liked. They went to this fantastic restaurant with a sea view and had a great conversation until she dropped a bombshell.

She flat-out said, “I expect my man to pay for everything, and if this goes any further, I want you to provide for me and take care of my financial needs.” My friend was immediately turned off, and there was no second date after that.

Talking about money is a huge turn-off on a first date. It’s best to avoid this topic entirely unless your date brings it up first.

Lastly, it all depends on the date. Some people you immediately feel comfortable with, open up to and talk about anything and everything. Others you don’t feel comfortable with at all and prefer to keep the conversation on very casual topics such as travel, hobbies, food, and entertainment.